10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

from PickTheBrain - 10 ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build Self Confidence

1. Dress Sharp
Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.
This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture
Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front rowIn schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out
Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

什麼是幸福?

什麼是幸福？◎王丹

我上週的本欄文章〈我們的下一代〉放到我的網站上以後，引起一些討論。有一位貨真價實的「我們的下一代」（二十歲左右吧？）寫信給我進行「自我檢討」說：「我覺得我們很會讓自己快樂，但是不知道什麼是幸福。你說，什麼是幸福呢？」這真把我問住了，讓我一時不知道如何回答。

忽然就想到更早以前我在本欄的另一篇文章〈最後一課〉，介紹中國大陸的一位大學教師蕭翰給他的學生進行的一場課堂演講，因為他的演講的部分內容，也許可以用來回答上述那位網友，包括我自己在內的問題：什麼是幸福？

蕭翰告訴他的學生說，擁有內心的幸福是一種美麗的心理狀態，得到幸福的途徑，一言以蔽之，就是兩個：愛與創造。他說：「一個心中充滿愛的人，無論是對什麼的愛，都將是幸福的。」他鼓勵學生在大學畢業之前至少戀愛一次，因為「你們這個年齡層的人，思想比較單純，對感情也更能付出……只有在心靈比較純淨的狀態裡，才能體驗到真正愛情的分量，真正清晰完整地體驗愛一個人，願意為一個人付出的感情狀態是什麼。」愛為什麼對幸福來說很重要？那是因為愛是利他的，不是自私的，真正的愛是一種付出，而不是單向的得到。在物質享受極大化的今天，「我們的下一代」更能體會到「得到」，而更不容易知道「付出」。這種時候，愛情就是很好的成長教育，因為你可以從真正的愛情中學會「付出」。我想蕭翰老師的意思是說，其實，只有學會付出，才能體會到真正的幸福。這點，我極為同意。

至於為什麼「創造」對於幸福來說也很重要，蕭翰認為，創造有一個前提，就是好奇心，而好奇，在本質上就是自由。他說：「如果有了廣闊的視野和強烈的好奇心、求知欲，你們最終必將很清楚地知道最喜歡做什麼事，有了你畢生喜歡的事情，你熱愛它們，你就會自由地去思想，去創造，而創造，將使你的生活永遠充滿新生的力量，永遠充滿活力，使你的精神生命永保青春。因此創造是生活中最美好的事物之一，它會在給你帶來幸福的同時，也給他人帶來審美的愉悅。」創造是需要能力的，蕭翰給他的學生的建議是「用更多的時間讀教材以外的書」，他開了一份書單做為基本的建議，這包括六個部分：神學——與信仰有關的書；文學——尤其是詩歌和小說；歷史——司馬遷的《史記》，湯恩比的《歷史研究》； 哲學——德國文德爾班的《西洋哲學史》，美國梯利的《西洋哲學史》；科學——阿西莫夫和卡爾．薩根的科普讀物；藝術——尤其是繪畫、雕塑以及音樂。

蕭翰對學生的最後一番話，也是我覺得最可以拿來回答上述那位網友關於「什麼是幸福」的問題的，他說：「如果，你們在大學期間打下很好的各方面基礎，包括人文、社會科學、自然科學，那麼你們的這顆心靈就不會是乏味、枯萎、老化的，這樣你以後無論從事什麼樣的工作， 你都能在工作中找到創造的樂趣。即使工作本身不允許你們發揮太多的創造力，你們也能在工作之外，過上十分充實的生活，而充實的生活，就是幸福的基本條件之一。」希望「我們的下一代」能夠深思。

from The Liberty Times

我們的下一代

我們的下一代 ◎王丹

對於更年輕的一代，大陸稱之為「80後」，指1980年代以後出生的一代（據說現在「90後」的一代都橫空出世了，這讓我這個「60後」聽起來實在太驚心動魄）。我們的這個下一代，到底是怎樣的一代，最近成了討論的熱點，連美國的《時代》週刊都參一腳，把大陸的新世代命名為「我世代」（Me Generation）。大陸有人對這一代做了如下的總結，倒是十分地傳神，不知道台灣的新世代看了是不是「心有戚戚焉」：

1、成天泡在網上，又不知道做什麼好。80後最常說的一句話是「無聊」，儘管他們在網路上聊天花去了大把的時間。

2、浮躁，好預測未知並妄下定論。對看過的電影和電視劇，會按捺不住向別人透露下一個情節或者結局。對不了解的事物，根據一丁點資訊發表長篇大論的見解，並且多半是批判的。對權威毫無理由地不耐煩，但絕不公開挑戰，只熱衷於影響身邊的幾個人，並有得到認同的強烈欲望。一旦不能如願，就不再發言，部分人會暴跳如雷，令旁人費解。

3、瘦弱，不愛運動。對健壯的人心存嘲諷，對肌肉和力量心存恐懼。在審美上受日式漫畫的影響，崇尚中性美和病態美。與第一點有一定關係，在身體的耐力、韌性和爆發力上，更熱衷於後者。但是在受到刺激之後，又會表現出病態的固執。這樣就表現為兩個極端，一方面弱不禁風，另一方面又偶爾會有驚人之舉。

4、性格軟弱，喜歡為自己的意志不堅定找理由。

5、消極，拒絕長大。不喜歡被人說成熟，尤其不能容忍被人說是老男人。不耐煩與長輩討論一些實際的問題，反感政治，厭惡參加長輩在場的應酬。要負責任的事情，會讓他們覺得焦慮不安和無奈。

6、選擇性自閉，對熟人嘮叨不休，對陌生人一言不發。偏愛使用方言或者網路語言等非大眾語言。吸菸，但是不敬菸。喝酒，但是不敬酒。不是他們感興趣的話題，基本上很難交談下去。多人參與討論時，如果沒有人邀請他發言，即使他已醞釀好發言稿，還是會選擇沉默。

7、習慣熬夜，25歲之前通宵次數明顯較多。

8、毫無理由地高傲。覺得別人不可能了解自己，並以此做為對別人不屑的理由。

9、做事不按計畫，討厭按部就班，永遠不知道錢花到哪裡去了。

10、不問問題，相信百度和谷歌（Google）的權威，多數人喜歡用搜尋引擎思考，將搜尋引擎做為自己的智囊。

要說明的是，這當然只是一般性的描述，而且是一家之言。不過，按照我那典型的「80後」一代的外甥的表現來看，很令我有「何其相似」的感慨。另外，我不揣冒昧、按圖索驥對照了一下自己跟他們這以上十項特質的對比，發現除了「成天泡在網上，又不知道做什麼好」之外，實在沒有一條能夠跟上「世代」的步伐了，也許，這就是江湖上傳說的「代溝」吧？

from The Liberty Times
王丹

Time Management

Basic of Time Management. Got it from friendster bulletin.

1)Managing the decision making process, not the decisions.
-Decision making process should be the focus because decision that is made cannot be change nor regret on it. Hence, plan wisely and make it right before any decision is done.

2)Concentrating on doing only one task at a time.
-Our brain are very selective on doing task and receiving information that is important to us. Focus and concentration can increase our effectiveness in doing a task. Less mistake will be done.

3)Establishing daily, short-term, mid-term, and long-term priorities.
-The reason behind this planning is because it will let us aware of our goals and our time. Little by little our time can be used wisely. Not wasting it with unproductive work. If we only have one long-term priorities, we might feel frustrated when we reach only part of our goals. It will eventually discourage us and lead to unfinished task.

4)Handling correspondence expeditiously with quick, short letters and memos.
-Save time but do remember your manners.

5)Throwing unneeded things away.
-When we said throwing away, doesn't mean that you really throw it away. Sometimes, unneeded things doesn't mean it is not important, it might be important in the future. Just keep it in a place that doesn't disturb your working process.

6)Establishing personal deadlines and ones for the organization.
-A timeframe is similiar with setting priorities. It will guide the person and not wasting any time.

7)Not wasting other people's time. Ensuring all meetings have a purpose,time limit, and include only essential people.
-When we don't waste other people's time, it also means that we respect them. Eventually, we save time.

8)Getting rid of busywork.
-Busy doesn't mean it is good. More important is to get the right job done in the right time. Busying doing unproductive work will not help us in managing our time.

9)Maintaining accurate calendars; abide by them.
-Always follow your rules that is set because your effectiveness based on it. Any mistake or wrong doings can be known immediately.

10)Knowing when to stop a task, policy, or procedure.
-To say "Yes" is easy, but saying "No" is a tough job. When you see there's problem in something, always follow your instinct and say "No".

11)Delegating everything possible and empowering subordinates.
-Effective teamwork with fully used potential can really management the task well.

12)Keeping things simple.
-KISS, Keep It Short and Simple. It is not asking you to make everything short and simple but to simplify things so that it can be done faster without losing it original purpose.

13)Ensuring time is set aside to accomplish high priority tasks.
-Similar to point 3 & 9.

14)Setting aside time for reflection.
-After making a decision and done the work, an evaluation helps to improve on the next task that is similar with this one. Hence, indirectly reduce and manage the time for the next task.

15)Using checklists and To-Do lists.
-A way to remind you of your priorities. It helps since human only have such capacity of memory to remember things at certain moment.

16)Adjusting priorities as a result of new tasks.
-Similar with point 3. Priorities can be divided by 2. Importancy and Urgency of that task. Task that is important and urgent should be put in the 1st priority.

Schedule a regular time to plan your activities. If time management is important to you, then allow the time to plan it wisely.

*To make it simple, just pretend that you are a lazy person like me, and you want to do things fast, simple, easy and stick to the goals.

"Time is precious, dont waste it but use it wisely"